


Doppelgänger

by Eliabrith



Category: Catastrophe - Fandom, Shetland (TV)
Genre: Author Just Cracked, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, M/M, Not quite crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliabrith/pseuds/Eliabrith
Summary: What happens when fandoms collide?Shetland's Duncan and Jimmy run into Chris and Fran from Catastrophe.
Relationships: Canonical Catastrophe Pairings, Duncan Hunter/Jimmy Perez
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	Doppelgänger

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a bit of fun to entertain myself, I might manage a couple more but no promises. No connection to the Bonds series.
> 
> If you haven't seen Catastrophe Mark Bonnar plays the rather memorable Chris who is married to Ashely Jensens's Fran friends of the main characters Sharon and Rob.
> 
> Unbeta'd

Duncan dropped into the booth with a weary groan giving the girl who brought his coffee a brief smile of thanks. 

When Jimmy had been invited to take part in a police conference on rural crime, in London of all places, Duncan had jumped at the chance to go with him and turn it into a short holiday for them. Three days of wandering around galleries and museums by himself later while the conference sessions overran derailing lunch and dinner plans and he was beginning to regret not just following Jimmy down for the weekend they’d added on after the conference..

A buzz from his phone alerted him to a text and after checking it he smiled. Jimmy had declared himself done and was wondering where he’d disappeared to. Sending him the name and address of the cafe he set the phone down and opened the paper he’d bought knowing Jimmy would be at least ten minutes away assuming he didn’t get himself turned around again.

‘Hey man. Looking forward to our "Adults only, no kids allowed night out"? I know I am.’

Duncan glanced up briefly as a good looking blond man slid into the booth with him then back down at the paper. ’Not interested.’

‘Jeez. Someone’s in a mood. Fran not putting out again?’

‘What?’ Duncan looked up at the American as he replayed the question in his head trying to make some sense out of it.

‘Fran? Your wife?’

Duncan stared at him trying to place the other man who he’d presumably met more the twenty years ago but either he’d changed a lot or he’d not made much of an impression on Duncan because he didn’t seem at all familiar.

The man seemed to find his silence confusing and frowned back at him. ’Hey you alright? Where is Fran anyway?’

‘Fran’s dead.’

‘Shit.’ A look of panic crossed the other man’s face and he pulled out his mobile and fiddled with the screen. ’When? What happened? Why didn’t you call us?’

’Ok who the hell are you?’ Duncan snapped finally having had enough of this farce and sure he’d never met the man before despite his knowing about Fran.

‘What?’ Putting the phone to his ear the stranger twisted around looking towards the door. ’Hang on there’s Rob now. Rob!’

The man got up headed for the door and Duncan took the opportunity to finish his coffee, gather up the paper then grab his phone intent on making his escape while his unwanted company was otherwise occupied. Hopefully he could meet up with Jimmy before he got this length and avoid whatever confused situation he’d ended up in.

‘Hey buddy.’ Came a new voice, the words said in an intentionally soothing tone and Duncan sighed as he looked up at the end of the table to find his previous companion had been joined by a taller dark haired man both looking down at him in concern and, of more immediate concern, blocking his way out. 

‘Look I don’t know who either of you are and I don’t know who you think I am so I’m just going to leave.’

They shared a confused look before the new man sank onto the bench seat across from him and leaned toward him earnestly.

‘Dave says you think Fran’s dead?’ He asked still in that artificially calm tone.

‘She’s been dead for more than ten years.’

‘Chris. Sharon and Fran went shopping this morning. I saw her at the hotel this morning. before I went to my meeting.’

‘Chris?’ Duncan asked relaxing back in the seat a bit, finally having confirmation that it was a case of mistaken identity and not some forgotten acquaintances from his ancient history. 

‘Yeah. You Chris.’ The first man, Dave apparently, said waving his hands as he spoke, pointing to each of them in turn. ’Us Dave and Rob.’

‘I’m not Chris.’ Duncan smirked at them.

‘Yeah right.’ Dave scoffed.

Rob looked at him consideringly seeming to at least half believe him.

‘Heya.’ A woman walked up to the table and kissed Rob on the cheek without even looking up from her phone. ’Your sister texted to say the kids are still fine and you’ll never believe it but some pervert weirdo just came out of nowhere and kissed Chris in the middle of the street.’

‘Chris?’ Dave parroted looking between her and Duncan in confusion.

‘Yeah, don’t think he’ll be trying it on with anyone else by the time Fran’s finished with him.’

This afternoon was turning into a bad joke and any hope of Jimmy not finding out had probably just turned to dust.

‘So,’ Rob asked, ‘both Chris and Fran were with you?’

‘Yeah we ran into him by the tube.’ Both men turned back to look at Duncan as the woman continued on. ‘Oh for God sake she’s given Muireann your mum’s shitty old rag doll. She’ll have nightmares for years if she keeps it. Actually never mind her, I’ll have nightmares for years if we have to take it home with us.’

Meeting Rob’s eyes Duncan shrugged. ’I told you I didn't know you. I’m guessing the “pervert weirdo’s” my better half. Where are they?’

’Sharon? Where are Fran and Chris?’ Rob asked.

‘Outside. At the corner.’

‘Excuse me then.’ Duncan said sliding to the end of the bench.

The woman, Sharon, finally looked up from her phone and stared at him as she automatically stepped back to let him out of the booth.

‘What the hell?’

Duncan could hear her question followed by footsteps as the three of them followed as he left the cafe and turned right towards the nearest corner.

A few yards around the corner a baffled looking Jimmy was leaning back against a wall with a petite blond woman waving a finger in his face while a man puffing on an e-cigarette watched on.

‘The Me Too movement doesn’t mean you can just switch to harassing men! We should call the police and see just what they think of perverts like you!’

Hearing Duncan approaching the man glanced around and, despite knowing that there had to be a good reason for the identity confusion, it was still unsettling for Duncan to see his own face looking back at him. The amused smirk present on the other man’s face slipped as he caught sight of Duncan.

‘Oh fuck me.’

Duncan dredged up a smirk of his own. ‘I’m guessing you’re Chris and the screeching harpy is Fran?’

‘Duncan.’ The clear relief in Jimmy’s voice would have been funny if the rest of it wasn’t so surreal.

‘Screeching harpy?’ The blonde swung round to face him and stopped, her face creasing in confusion as she looked from him to Chris. ‘Chris?’

At his wife’s question Chris stepped up to her side and put an arm around her shoulders easing her back from Jimmy who glanced between the various people watching then moved away from the wall and stopped at Duncan’s side.

‘You OK?’ Jimmy asked, leaning close but not actually touching him.

Duncan glanced at him. ‘I feel like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole.’

‘Oh this is brilliant!’ Dave called from somewhere behind him.

’No it’s just weird. Why the hell are there two Chris’s?’ Sharon asked.

‘There aren’t.’ Duncan snapped over his shoulder grateful when he felt Jimmy catch hold of his wrist and squeeze gently.

‘Then how did he know about Fran? And why claim she’d died?’ Dave objected.

‘Fran?’ Jimmy asked quietly.

‘Not only do we look the same, apparently we both married Frans. ’

Jimmy blinked for a moment eying the blonde woman before offering. ‘Our Fran is dead.’

‘Chris.. we’ll uh, we’ll just wait for you in the cafe.’ Rob offered turning away and steering the others with him.

Duncan could hear them objecting but moving away leaving the two couples to stand and stare at each other. It was honestly like looking in a mirror the similarities were remarkable. 

Finally Jimmy sighed and stepped forward offering his hand. ‘Jimmy Perez. Sorry about earlier.’

‘I’ll live.’ Chris shook his hand. ‘Chris Beasley. My wife Fran.’

Everyone looked at Duncan with Jimmy nudging him slightly before he sighed and offered his own name. ‘Duncan Hunter.’

‘Okay...’ Chris looked between them then trailed off apparently unable to think of where to start.

‘What did you mean “Our Fran”? What sort of screwed up relationship do you have?’ Fran interjected.

Chris turned his head to give his wife a hard stare. ‘Does it matter?’

‘Well..’ She waved her hands around vaguely. 

‘I meant the Fran we knew as opposed to you. She was our daughter's mum.’ Jimmy neatly sidestepped any further detailing to their complicated layers of relationship leaving the four of them in silence.

‘So this is awkward.’ Chris eventually said.

‘Just a bit.’ Duncan agreed, before offering. ‘I don’t know any Beasley’s and I’m an only child as far as I know.’ 

‘I’ve two sisters but don’t know of any Hunter’s in the family.’ Chris took a drag on his e-cigarette then huffed the vapour out his nose. ‘I was born in Edinburgh in 1968.’

Duncan made a face, looking alike was one thing being born in the same city and year was another. ‘November?’

‘Nineteenth.’ Chris confirmed a matching birthday.

‘And it just keeps getting weirder.’

‘Great,’ Jimmy sighed. ‘So now I’ve gone from trying to decide if I should investigate if that bloody sheep really was the first clone to wondering if I need to check for missing twins.’ 

‘Why would you investigate?’ Fran asked sharply.

‘Jimmy’s an Inspector on Shetland.’

‘Inspector of what?’

‘He’s police Fran.’ Chris muttered.

Duncan had reached the point where he wanted to forget the whole thing. ‘From what your American friends were saying it sounded like you had plans for tonight. We should let you get on.’ 

‘Yes. We should go. Dinner reservations and all that.’ Fran gave them a forced smile and tugged at Chris’s arm.

‘You go on.’ Chris encouraged, then watched as Fran glanced back at them before she hurried around the corner before Chris turned back and held out a business card for Duncan to take. ‘Look, I know this is probably just a fucking fluke but my number and email’s on that if you ever need to contact me.’ 

Jimmy took the card when Duncan just stared at it. ‘Thanks.’

‘Got to go.’

Duncan waited until the other man had vanished around the corner then leaned his forehead on Jimmy’s shoulder for a few moments before letting Jimmy hug him close. ‘Christ, that was horrific.’

‘You weren’t the one threatened with castration.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Yep.’ 

Jimmy released him and they started to walk back towards the hotel and most importantly away from the insanity of the afternoon.

‘You aren’t really going to investigate are you?’

‘It's not actually a crime to look like someone else so I doubt it.’ Jimmy paused. ‘Might still need to check into the twin thing.’

End

**Author's Note:**

> I used Beasley as Chris and Fran's surname as that's the name show on their son Jeffrey's DVD credit.


End file.
